Matthew's Poetry Collection - The Emotions of Loss

 Introduction

Throughout this anthology, I wanted to capture a form of progression in the organization of these poems. With that being said, my eight selected poems have been arranged in a way that encapsulates the progression of grief and loss. This idea has been sitting with me throughout the semester which I had to personally experience. The progression starts with the moments leading up to the tragedy and ends with the eventual acceptance of what has happened. Given how prevalent Mujō is as well as grief and loss, I wanted to show my appreciation for such emotional themes by basing my anthology on how these emotions develop overtime.

 

1. Basho Haiku & Out in the Streets: Poem #847

He'll be dying soon

but there's not a hint of it

in the cicada's voice.

 

Before a sudden death, no one, including the one who passes, won't even know it's coming. The last time you see them, they are perfectly fine. There isn't a hint of the lingering essence of death. It reflects on the true impermanence of life and how it can be stripped away just like that.

 

2. Salad Anniversary: Page 10

"O.K. See you later..."

the words are no different from

all the other times.

Why do I feel that something

is different on this Wednesday?

 

This poem perfectly reflects on the final moments you will spend with someone before their death. You don't think about it in the moment, but you notice that something doesn't feel right for that final time. This feeling will be the first telltale sign that something isn't right. Unfortunately, by the time you really notice this feeling, it's too late to do anything about it. 

3. Izunami Shikibu: Poem #211

Now that he's gone,

how I wish I could recall

"That time, yes that time!"-

Some unhappy time with him

I might wish now to forget.

 

Just like that, they are gone. There will be no more memories to make with them. All that is left is the memories you have already made in the past. The initial feeling of denial, grasping at memories of the in-between times. You can't help but think about the negative memories you may have with them. You wish to only remember the positive memories, the ones that bring a smile to your face. You reminisce on the past wishing that you could go back.

 

4. Princess Shikishi: Poem #350

 

Even in my dreams

the breezes keeps on blowing 

through fading blossoms-

allowing no sense of calm

to my nap on spring day.

 

Here you are now, trying to move forward without their presence. The stress lingers onward, following you around "allowing no sense of calm". You cannot even find peace in your dreams as the harsh breeze of stress follows you there. You are unable to be at peace with yourself.

 

5. Salad Anniversary: Page 6

 

After seeing you

and seeing you go, I feel

that all the twilight is shining on a tableau  

you dominate completely

 

 The one who passed left a significant impact on your life. Their long lasting presence will linger on around you for the rest of your life. However, it is a new feeling to you and so it dominates your life. The loss of a loved one is significant and something you will not forget. It will be a hard feeling to get used to.

 

6. Carter The Ancient Age: Poem #77

More peace would I have

if I could die and be gone;

for as it now

I can't tell dawn from dusk-

so pained am I by love.

 

 The eventual realization that they aren't coming back won't sit right with you. You question how you can go on without them in your life. The acknowledgement that they won't be around for any events, anything in your life, is too much the take. You wonder if the only way to find peace again is you disappear from this world. The loss of your loved one consumes you completely that you aren't even able to recognize the days as they go by.

 

7. Tales of Ise: Poem #91

 

With all my heart, 

I willed it to be otherwise,

and yet on this,

the final day of springtime,

the shades of evening fall

 

Going months with the dread you carry with you, you finally begin to accept the reality. You struggle to find a new normal but it will eventually happen. You realize, time will go on and the Earth will continue to spin. This is the reality of nature and life. Everything that lives, must eventually die. Time is inevitable, and that is a truth you must now acknowledge.

 

8. Carter The Ancient Age: Poem #49

 

Out in my garden

plum blossoms are scattering.

Or might it be snow

floating down from the sky-

those distant horizons?

 

It has been a long time since their passing. You've accepted what has happened and continue on with your loved one in the back of your mind. However, you sometimes see something that reminds you of your loss. The scattering of the plum blossoms remind you that all life eventually comes to an end. However, you take a closer look and see that it may still be snow on the ground. You question if you're truly out of your own "winter". You'll never truly know when you're out of your period of hardships. Life is not a linear progression and hardships will never stop.

 

Conclusion

This anthology takes you through an emotional trip on the progression of grief and loss. I hope that others get this sense and appreciates the process that is needed to get through emotional turmoil. Loss of a loved one is a painful subject that everyone will eventually have to experience one way or another. Some experience it sooner than others. I find that this collection of poems beautifully shapes the feeling and the process of going through loss. I hope you have enjoyed this experience.